Fountains at dusk in Casino square in Monaco

Flamboyant is one of my favorite ‘F-words’, and that’s why it’s the ‘F-Word of the Day’. Why?  I think because I’ve always identified with flamboyant characters. I admire their flare, their flaunting of convention and their feistiness.  To me, Monaco and the district of Monte Carlo are the very definition of the word flamboyant!  Don’t you love this photo of the fountains in front of the Casino at Monte Carlo?

When I was a kid, and my sister and I used to ‘play house’ she was always the ‘mom’ with 7 babies… She had all the accessories – our grandfather made a little wooden fridge, stove and sink for us – but she was really the one who played with it.  And then she had the little Suzy Homemaker stuff – the ironing board and iron, the broom and dustpan, the dishes, all of it.  And for her babies she had the cribs, the changing tables, the little table and chairs for tea parties… But me? I was the ‘maiden aunt’ – who just flew in from Hong Kong.  I’d sit down and have a cup of pretend tea, and listen for a little while about her babies, and then I’d ‘take off for the airport’ to catch a plane for Monte Carlo.  Who knew that one day visiting Monte Carlo whenever I wanted was going to become a reality? Then again, if you believe in the Law of Attraction, maybe you could say that I knew, because this is the life that I was attracting for myself and my future – even back then!

Original Poster for the Broadway production of 'Auntie Mame"

One of my favorite books when I was a kid was ‘Auntie Mame’ – a book written by author Patrick Dennis in 1955.  It was a ‘runaway hit’ – and sold over 2 million copies during it’s first print.

Mame was later adapted for the stage by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee. The original Broadway production starred Rosalind Russell in the title role.  Ms. Russell reprised her role for the movie which was released by Warner Bros. in 1958.

Although I haven’t seen Mame in probably 25 years, I still vividly remember the character and her flamboyant lust for life and determination to live life on her own terms…

And today I’ve decided that I’m going to do one ‘flamboyant’ thing every day from now on.  Just for the fun of it!

What were your favorite books or movies when you were a kid? What characters did you identify with the most?

If flamboyant isn’t an F-Word you’re comfortable reinventing in your life or your business, what word fits with your vision, goals and plans for your life?  And are you willing to make a commitment to add it to your vocabulary and your actions every day – especially if it gets you closer to living your ideal lifestyle?

I hope you dance

I got a note from one of my best friends a few days ago.  She wrote, “Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.  Today all I want to do is hide under the covers.  I’m feeling lonely, lost and really, really SAD.  And I just don’t know what to do about it. It feels like everything is too hard lately.”

I thought about her for a few minutes, and wished I still lived close enough that I could show up on her doorstep with a stack of DVDs, strawberry margarita mix, some Oreos and Ben and Jerry’s ice cream for a ‘girls night’ slumber party and bitch session, but she’s in the states and I’m here in France.  So, since I have to be a long-distance friend, here’s what I did instead:

I sent her an online invitation that said:  You are cordially invited to be the ‘guest of honor’ at a ‘BFF Pity Party’.  I will call you at 6:00 p.m. your time (please bring cheese to go with the whine).

You can talk about whatever’s bugging you and bringing you down.  I’ll listen to everything you have to say with no judgements (and no suggestions on how to fix things) for 15 minutes – I really want to hear all about it.

After the 15 minutes are up,  we’ll play 10 minutes of “Poor Me” (if we can last that long), and list all the reasons we sometimes feel ‘less than’ or worry about the things we ‘don’t have’ or lack.  And then, if you’re still feeling miserable,  we’ll play five minutes of “My life sucks more than yours because…” And finally, to finish off the evening, we’ll play the “Count my blessings” game and  an exciting round of “My greatest strengths are… and I can handle this because…”

She RSVP’d a few minutes later and called me a pet name which let me know she was feeling a little better all ready.  I called her, and we had a wonderful conversation, talking about old friends, favorite memories and the ‘new and good’ in each of our lives. The ‘pity party’ was a success.

The point is, sometimes we all feel sorry for ourselves.  According to Deepak Chopra, “Self-pity is the opposite of self-esteem. It arises because you feel no one will lift you out of your difficulties. With no one stronger, older, wiser and kinder to help you, there’s a tremendous sense of lack. You cannot find the same strength that these rescuers have—or you imagine them to have—and the ache of not being enough is felt as self-pity or “poor me.”  He relates to self-pity to dependency, and recommends finding your own ‘inner riches’.

I know when I’ve felt down and depressed, it usually happened at a time in my life when I felt the most isolated and alone.  And there are three things that have always worked to help lift me out of it, and made me feel strong enough to go on again:

1. Reaching out to my partner, my family and my circle of friends. My husband is always there for me, and he’s supportive, loving and he makes me laugh.  I’m very close to my family – especially my mother and sisters, and their loving presence is always with me. And of course, my friends – especially my circle of girlfriends – provide me with feedback, clarity, confidence and remind me not to take myself too seriously.

2. Taking the time to cultivate that ‘attitude of gratitude’. It’s hard to feel self-pity when we counting our blessings and look at the inner riches we all have been given and the real abundance we have in our lives. There’s some interesting information about how gratitude works with the law of attraction and also to increase your own happiness and satisfaction with your life on this Website.

3. Looking at my own inner strengths – or having someone I trust – remind me that I do have what it takes to solve the problem I’m faced with. Here’s a quote by Mark Victor Hansen that I really love: “Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

What about you?  What do you use to get through those moments of doubt and darkness?

The F-Word for Today is Fun!

The F-Word of the day today is ‘Fun’. This afternoon is the last day of my English class for kids at the cultural center.  I can’t believe how quickly this year has passed – and how much fun I’ve had with the kids. There are 10 of them who range in age from 6 to 12.

So we’re going to have an end-of-the party, and I’ve got a few errands to still run to get ready for it.  I hope they’re going to have a lot of fun too – I’m planning some American games, prizes and some homemade cupcakes for them. And to surprise them, I’ve made Certificates of Completion for them – but those I’m going to mail to their homes next week, along with little thank you notes, because when I was a kid, I loved getting mail. (In fact, I still do!  I think I’m the only person I know who loves getting junk mail!)

When I woke up at 6:30 this morning, the sun was already streaming in through the sky-blue curtains in my bedroom. (The bedroom is on the south side of the house and looks down into the courtyard.)

The shadows of what seems like 50 or so baby swallows pass the window every few seconds at they zigzag back and forth through the Mimosa, olive and apple trees like race car drivers at Monte Carlo. Lilly (our family cat and my self-appointed writing muse) was sitting at attention on the wide white windowsill, trying to entice a bird or two to come just a little closer.

She was using that “cat language” cats use for birds who mock them by staying just out of reach – if you’re a dog person and have never heard cats do it, it’s kind of a cross between chattering teeth and chirping and includes a wide open focused stare.  Whenever I see a cat doing it, I always imagine they’re saying something like, “Bird…you are getting sleepy… very sleepy… you want to come over here and let me eat you…” (But that could just be me.)

As I got out of bed to start our morning routine, Lilly shot the birds one last look of disdain, before turning her back on them, and with a swish of her tail (to show them just exactly how much they bored her), she jumped down and went into the kitchen with me.  (She helps me make coffee by rubbing encouragingly against my legs and meowing at me to remind me to hurry up with it, because she’s hungry.)

My windowsill herb garden is growing nicely, and after watering them, I left the windows opened so I could enjoy the scents of mint, thyme, rosemary and basil.

After feeding Lilly, I woke up the kids, and put breakfast on the table for them: pain chocolat – (like croissants with bits of chocolate in them), chocolate cereal, milk and juice.  Breakfast, for the French, (at least here on the French Riviera) not only isn’t the most important meal of the day, it’s barely noticed at all. A cup of coffee, tea or, in the colder months, hot chocolate, and sometimes a croissant – is it, and it’s eaten quickly.  For most of us here in France – and especially on the French Riviera, our big meal – and one that people start thinking about in the morning – if not the night before – is lunch.

After making sure the kids weren’t trying to pretend they hadn’t heard me telling them it was time to get moving (they were), I brought a cup of coffee and a croissant on a tray into Alain.  We have this little morning routine I treasure – while he sips his coffee,  we read interesting bits of news to each other, synchronize our calendars, and talk about our plans for the weekend. I treasure this little routine we have for starting the day together.

For lunch today I’m making Ratatouille – a delicious vegetable dish made of garden tomatoes, fresh zucchini, eggplant, red and yellow peppers, onions and garlic.  (I’m planning on adding a recipe of the day to this blog too, so I’ll let you know when that gets done, and I’ll add my Ratatouille recipe for you.)  Normally it’s eaten hot, but it’s also delicious cold, and makes a great summer side dish – plus, it’s one of those dishes that the flavors get stronger and it takes even better the next day (that’s if you ever get to keep any leftovers!  We don’t usually have many in this house!)

Tony and I went to Toulon’s open air market yesterday, and got all the ingredients for it, along with fresh strawberries, raspberries, watermelon, nectarines and the first cherries of the season.  And we stopped at the butcher shop to get a roasted chicken to go along with the ratatouille.

So… The ‘F-Word’ for today is fun.  When’s the last time you did something just for the ‘fun’ of it?  Part of the point of reinventing the F-Words in your life is to make sure that you’re adding in the things you enjoy – whether that means doing activities, hobbies, visiting special places, having a girl’s night out, or doing something special for yourself or someone you love.  Fun adds flavor and spice to life – and it’s something we all need!  So don’t forget to add a little fun to your day…

If you live in the U.S., you’ve got a three-day weekend coming up. What are your plans?  I’d love to hear what you’re going to do to bring a little fun into your life!

Painting by Marc Chagall in Chagall Museum in Nice, France

One of the things I love about starting each new day… or new writing project… or working with a new client is this: I get to start with a new, blank canvas.  And that means I get to let my inner master painter out, and get working on my latest and greatest (so far) masterpiece!

Now before you think I’m an egotistical crazy woman, let me explain…

I love using the painting a masterpiece theme – because in real life?  I’m a really bad, horrible painter.  (My paintings are so bad that when he looked at one of my seascapes – with his head tilted to the left – turned to me and said, “Mama – someone pulled the plug and all the ocean is going down the drain in your painting.”)
And yes, I still have paints and an easel, and try my hand at painting every winter. (Although I’ve discovered I much prefer taking photos and love being an amateur photographer!)

But the important thing is this: Each one of us has a masterpiece inside of us.

And we are the only ones who can ‘paint’ our masterpiece.

There’s no one else in the world who can do it for us.

Which means, if you don’t do it… If you don’t paint your masterpiece – your life – the way you want it… Then it’s never going to get done.  It will remain unfinished forever.

And what’s worse?  If you don’t paint your own masterpiece – if you’re not living your life the way you want to – doing the things you want to do, and being the person you are meant to be… then it’s like you’re just going through the motions – living a paint-by-number of someone else’s life…

Today you have the chance to work on your own masterpiece – not the washed out, deeply lined and strictly numbered canvas of someone else’s life.  But yours.  Your unique, one-of-a-kind masterpiece. Everything you say, every choice you make, everything you do – or don’t do – is being added to your masterpiece right now.

At the end of the day, what’s your masterpiece going to look like?

"My name is Bond... Cheryl Bond... Um... Antier."

When I was young, I decided I wanted to be a spy when I grew up.  I thought it would be terribly exciting, and romantic and fascinating (there’s one of my favorite ‘F-Words)…

To help give myself an edge when I was ready to go apply with the CIA, I studied Morse Code, and the latitude and longitude of all the countries, and even started teaching myself Russian, from tapes I borrowed from the local library.  And I also started doing some strength training exercises from the Marines, and reading everything I needed to know to become a locksmith (of course, I was mostly interested in learning how to pick them – something else I taught myself how to do.)

And I wrote marvelous, exciting stories about my life as a spy… (“Bond, Cheryl Bond…)

At 18, I almost joined the army – not only did I want to ‘be all I could be’ – but I thought being a helicopter pilot would be a useful skill for a spy as well. Of course, I changed my mind on that one after a family friend who was a high-ranking officer explained that just because the recruiter promised I’d be flying helicopters, enjoying spa days and having lots of time for dating and going shopping – DIDN’T necessarily mean it – I changed my mind.  (Mucking around as a mechanic and getting grease under my nails just WASN’T my idea of fun!)

When I was a little older, I started repo-ing cars – cause I liked the adrenaline rush, and because a spy never knows when they’re going to have to be able to hotwire the nearest get-away car.  And after getting formally escorted off an Indian Reservation in Arizona, and being politely told I wasn’t welcome to return, I came up with an idea for not only being able to repo any car for my clients – but having their owners happily cooperating and giving me their keys.

And then, after I had kids, I decided being a spy – when I was an old woman – would still be a good idea.  First of all, it’s great cover. Who would expect a nice little gray-haired lady to be Mata Hari?   Plus, I figured, being a spy beat being a bag lady in the cold, or spending my final years in a nursing home somewhere, where the most exciting thing that happened was sitting in a rocking chair while I watched my teeth soaking in a glass by the bed. And I created bedtime stories for my boys – full of heros and heroines, brave deeds and evil foes…

No matter what job I’ve ever had – or what business I started and later sold, or walked away from, one thing stayed consistent. Somehow, some way, I always wrote.  And eventually, I figured out that writing – is my biggest, and longest-lived passion.

And a little while after that, I learned I could do what I loved – and make enough money to build the kind of lifestyle I wanted.

So what about you? When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?  What were you so excited about – so passionate about – that you’d spend all your extra time doing it?  What did you love learning about?  Trying? Playing with?

Please feel free to leave a comment below, ’cause I’d love to hear about what you wanted to be when you grew up!

Visiting Ross Castle in Ireland

Last year, we took a trip to Ireland.  I’ve always wanted to go. And it was so much more than I was expecting!  The people are warm and friendly and welcoming.  The country is as green as I’d read about in books and seen in the movies.  And we got to see so many amazing places… Dublin, Claire,County Cork, Galway, Kerry – just to name a few.  This is one of the amazing shots I got to take at Ross Castle… What I really love about this one is the the reflection.

And that’s what I want you to do today – even if its only for 15 minutes.  Reflect on what ‘living the dream lifestyle’ would really mean to you.  If there was nothing standing in your way – what would you want?  Where would you go? Who would be your friends? Where would you live?

Something else I’ve learned is that this life, this moment – it’s not a ‘dress rehearsal’.  We don’t get ‘do-overs’ the way we did when we were kids, playing games with our friends.  So if you’re serious about wanting something else – something different… If you really want to live the life you know you were meant to live – what are you waiting for?

I love long weekends – and here in France, Monday was a day off for us.  So Alain and I ’seized the day’ and took his dad with us, and we went for a long drive, a leisurely lunch, and then spent the afternoon in Cannes.

The 2010 Cannes Film festival has just ended, and, like most locals, we stayed far away from the city until the festivities were over. Which is not to say Cannes was dead today.  Quite the opposite.

Along La Croisette (the main street that runs parallel to the Med), the white tents were being taken down and all sorts of interesting-looking things were being loaded into discreet white trucks with canvas sides.  By the way, in case you’ve ever wondered, in Provencal, (the old language from the south of France), ‘La Croisette’ means ‘the little submarine’ – and not ‘the cross’, which is what many people think.

The streets of Cannes were full of people – students on class trips, buses of Russian, German and Italian tourists, and of course, the locals, venturing out to walk their dogs and enjoy the beautiful day.

Parking was difficult, but not impossible.

The beaches were crowded, but there was still room for a few beach towels and Cannes’ signature blue and white beach umbrellas.

And the restaurants were crowded, but good seats were still available for enjoying good food, good wine, good company – and a little amazing people watching!

So all in all, it was a good day to visit Cannes – and a fabulous day to take a drive along the French Riviera – and I had an absolutely fantastic day with two of my favorite handsome and charming Frenchmen.

Which is just one of the advantages of owning your own business and building your own ‘dream’ lifestyle.  It means you get to ’seize the day’ every now and then, and do the kind of things you’ve always dreamed of doing.

And, since you’re dreaming anyway, why not dream big?  If you were going to create your ‘ideal dream lifestyle’ – what does that look like to you?  Where would you live?  What does your house look like?  Do you travel? Get to enjoy your own hobbies? Fall in love all over again with your soulmate?  Live on your own and enjoy the freedom that comes with that? (Serious suggestion here – if you haven’t already created a map or vision board of where you want to end up – why not?  After all, as the Cheshire Cat said to Alice, “It doesn’t matter where you end up if you don’t know where you want to go…”

We may not be able to ’seize the day’ every single day… But for me, I want to squeeze every last drop of out of life that I possibly can – and as often as I can!  One of my favorite sayings – and the way I try to live my life goes something like this:

My life will NOT be a journey to the grave, where I arrive demurely, quietly and in an attractive and well-preserved body. I plan to come SKIDDING IN SIDEWAYS at the last possible minute, body totally used up and worn out – where you can see what my life meant, because it’s mapped out in the laugh lines on my face and the gray hairs on my head… ! I plan on having a chocolate eclair in one hand, a glass of 2006 Jean-Jacques Vincent & Fils Pouilly Fuisse wine in the other, hollering *WOO HOO! What a RIDE – Let’s DO IT AGAIN!

In fact, if I can’t be a good example, then I’m willing to settle for being a ‘horrible warning’ of someone who lived life on her own terms, and did her best to squeeze every drop of love, passion and excitement from each day!  After all, as Bette Davis used to say, “Old age ain’t no place for sissies!” And since I’ve decided I’ve still got thirty years or so until I reach old age, I’m going to have a hell of a lot of fun getting the ‘horrible warning’ stage!